Shakes

A random Shakespearean Insult Generator
in python1) or php

EGADS! Thou droning, crook-pated barnacle!

2)

shakes

a random shakespearean insult generator, in python with tkinter, by tonybaldwin


The co0l thing about shakes is that it's my first program in python.
Also, it should run on any system with python, meaning it is fully cross-platform (ie. win/mac/lin/bsd/solaris, etc…so long as python is installed…with tkinter).

python

python

I have a command line version, too (ie. no tkinter gui). I call this fo0l.

#!/usr/bin/python
 
# Shakespearean insult generator
 
from random import randint
 
a = ("artless", "bawdy", "beslubbering", "bootless", "churlish", "cockered", "clouted", "craven", "currish", "dankish", 
"dissembling", "droning", "errant", "fawning", "fobbing", "froward", "frothy", "gleeking", "goatish", "gorbellied", "impertinent",
 "infectious", "jarring", "loggerheaded", "lumpish", "mammering", "mangled", "mewling", "paunchy", "pribbling", "puking", "puny",
 "qualling", "rank", "reeky", "roguish", "ruttish", "saucy", "spleeny", "spongy", "surly", "tottering", "unmuzzled", "vain", 
"venomed", "villainous", "warped", "wayward", "weedy", "yeasty", "cullionly", "fusty", "caluminous", "wimpled", "burly-boned", 
"misbegotten", "odiferous", "poisonous", "fishified", "Wart-necked") # 60 items
 
a1 = randint(0,59)
a2 = a[a1]
 
 
b = ("base-court", "bat-fowling", "beef-witted", "beetle-headed", "boil-brained", "clapper-clawed", "clay-brained", "common-
kissing", "crook-pated", "dismal-dreaming", "dizzy-eyed", "doghearted", "dread-bolted", "earth-vexing", "elf-skinned", "fat-
kidneyed", "fen-sucked", "flap-mouthed", "fly-bitten", "folly-fallen", "fool-born", "full-gorged", "guts-griping", "half-faced", 
"hasty-witted", "hedge-born", "hell-hated", "idle", "headed", "ill-breeding", "ill-nurtured", "knotty-pated", "milk-livered", 
"motley-minded", "onion-eyed", "plume-plucked", "pottle-deep", "pox-marked", "reeling-ripe", "rough-hewn", "rude-growing", "rump-
fed", "shard-borne", "sheep-biting", "spur-galled", "swag-bellied", "tardy-gaited", "tickle-brained", "toad", "spotted", "unchin-
snouted", "weather-bitten", " whoreson", "malmsey-nosed", "rampallian", "lily", "livered", "scurvy-valiant", "brazen-faced", 
"unwash'd", "bunch-back'd", "leaden-footed", "muddy-mettled", "pigeon-liver'd", "scale-sided") # 62 items
 
b1 = randint(0,61)
b2 = b[b1]
 
 
c = ("apple-john", "baggage", "barnacle", "bladder", "boar-pig", "bugbear", "bum-bailey", "canker-blossom", "clack-dish", 
"clotpole", "coxcomb", "codpiece", "death-token", "dewberry", "flap-dragon", "flax-wench", "flirt-gill", "foot-licker", 
"fustilarian", "giglet", "gudgeon", "haggard", "harpy", "hedge-pig", "horn-beast", "hugger-mugger", "joithead", "lewdster", 
"lout", "maggot-pie", "malt-worm", "mammet", "measle", "minnow", "miscreant", "moldwarp", "mumble-news", "nut-hook", "pigeon-egg",
 "pignut", "puttock", "pumpion", "ratsbane", "scut", "skainsmate", "strumpet", "varlot", "vassal", "whey-face", "wagtail", 
"knave", "blind-worm", "popinjay", "scullian", "jolt-head", " malcontent", "devil-monk", "toad", "rascal", "Basket-Cockle") # 60 items
 
c1 = randint(0,59)
c2 = c[c1]
 
 
print("Thou " + a2 + ", " + b2 + " " + c2 + "!")

php

php

AND, Now available in a PHP script: try it online here, if thou hast the heart, thou surly, dizzy-eyed codpiece!

<?php
 
echo "<h1 align=\"center\">Shakespearean Insult Generator</h1>";
echo "<hr />";
 
$a = array("artless", "bawdy", "beslubbering", "bootless", "churlish", "cockered", "clouted", "craven", "currish", "dankish", 
"dissembling", "droning", "errant", "fawning", "fobbing", "froward", "frothy", "gleeking", "goatish", "gorbellied", "impertinent",
 "infectious", "jarring", "loggerheaded", "lumpish", "mammering", "mangled", "mewling", "paunchy", "pribbling", "puking", "puny", 
"qualling", "rank", "reeky", "roguish", "ruttish", "saucy", "spleeny", "spongy", "surly", "tottering", "unmuzzled", "vain", 
"venomed", "villainous", "warped", "wayward", "weedy", "yeasty", "cullionly", "fusty", "caluminous", "wimpled", "burly-boned", 
"misbegotten", "odiferous", "poisonous", "fishified", "Wart-necked");
 
$a1 = mt_rand(0, (count($a) -1));
 
$b = array("base-court", "bat-fowling", "beef-witted", "beetle-headed", "boil-brained", "clapper-clawed", "clay-brained", "common-
kissing", "crook-pated", "dismal-dreaming", "dizzy-eyed", "doghearted", "dread-bolted", "earth-vexing", "elf-skinned", "fat-
kidneyed", "fen-sucked", "flap-mouthed", "fly-bitten", "folly-fallen", "fool-born", "full-gorged", "guts-griping", "half-faced", 
"hasty-witted", "hedge-born", "hell-hated", "idle", "headed", "ill-breeding", "ill-nurtured", "knotty-pated", "milk-livered", 
"motley-minded", "onion-eyed", "plume-plucked", "pottle-deep", "pox-marked", "reeling-ripe", "rough-hewn", "rude-growing", "rump-
fed", "shard-borne", "sheep-biting", "spur-galled", "swag-bellied", "tardy-gaited", "tickle-brained", "toad", "spotted", "unchin-
snouted", "weather-bitten", " whoreson", "malmsey-nosed", "rampallian", "lily", "livered", "scurvy-valiant", "brazen-faced", 
"unwash'd", "bunch-back'd", "leaden-footed", "muddy-mettled", "pigeon-liver'd", "scale-sided");
 
$b1 = mt_rand(0, (count($b) -1));
 
$c = array("apple-john", "baggage", "barnacle", "bladder", "boar-pig", "bugbear", "bum-bailey", "canker-blossom", "clack-dish", 
"clotpole", "coxcomb", "codpiece", "death-token", "dewberry", "flap-dragon", "flax-wench", "flirt-gill", "foot-licker", 
"fustilarian", "giglet", "gudgeon", "haggard", "harpy", "hedge-pig", "horn-beast", "hugger-mugger", "joithead", "lewdster", 
"lout", "maggot-pie", "malt-worm", "mammet", "measle", "minnow", "miscreant", "moldwarp", "mumble-news", "nut-hook", "pigeon-egg",
 "pignut", "puttock", "pumpion", "ratsbane", "scut", "skainsmate", "strumpet", "varlot", "vassal", "whey-face", "wagtail", 
"knave", "blind-worm", "popinjay", "scullian", "jolt-head", " malcontent", "devil-monk", "toad", "rascal", "Basket-Cockle");
 
$c1 = mt_rand(0, (count($c) -1));
 
echo "<h1 align=\"center\">EGADS! Thou $a[$a1], $b[$b1] $c[$c1]!</h1>";
?>

Tony Baldwin 2015/01/13 04:59

1)
somewhere around here I have it with a tkinter gui, but all you find here is a cli script
2)
each time you load this page, you'll get a different insult